50 - am I old?

I recently reached the glorious age of 50. Now don't get me wrong, I neither think I am old nor young. In fact I am probably more ambivalent about my age now than I ever have been. True, I am older than I ever have been, but then I am also younger now than I ever will be (unless time travel is invented/discovered or if the mythical elixir of life can de-age as opposed to prolong life).

So why do I feel the way I do?

Firstly, I am certainly more experienced, especially life skills. When I was younger (probably most apparent in my mid to late teens and very early twenties) I was very shy. I overcame this by putting myself in places where I was forced to interact with people. The most extreme of these were as a wine waiter in a restaurant while I was at University and as a direct salesmen selling Life Assurance and Pensions. Talk about kill or cure! However, I still think that it has taken me another twenty-five to thirty years to stop feeling that I am simply pretending not to be shy and to actually be comfortable in group situations. That may sound a little sad (which was what I was thinking as I was typing it) but I have moved on to a level of confidence that allows me to even enjoy being the centre of attention when I am in a group of people.

Secondly I've also discovered in the last year what it is like to be fit. Now for the last few years I've been relatively healthy, with only occasional blips (the 'flu a couple of years ago which affected my balance and prevented me from driving to work; it did not stop me from being driven to church to play the organ) and an unbroken run of about 15 years without a single day off work until the 'flu incident, even though I am a chronic asthmatic. My asthma is, and has been for a long time, well under control and very few people who know me realise that I have it. But I've pushed the boundary even further in the last year by turning to exercise, in the form of running (well, jogging really), cycling and swimming. The cycling has yet to take off; swimming has got to the point where every time I swim I will swim a mile breast-stroke (64 lengths of a 25 metre pool), although I tend to only swim during the winter. Jogging, I am up to a regular 5 mile trip, with 7.5 miles being the furthest and my idea of a "short" run (to the next village and back) is about 3.5 miles. I jog two to three times a week.

Thirdly (and lastly) I am about to complete an Open University degree which I started eight years ago. I have taken my time and am on track (on my calculations) to obtain a first class honours degree. I just have to last this year and pass the course, including an exam in October. I will get the result in December, just before Christmas. This is not exactly a flash in the pan. Since I left school and University (with a mediocre degree in Music) I have never stopped "collecting" qualifications and certificates through work and even funded myself (as is the degree), but it will be the icing on the cake to me.

So from where I am, I probably have as much to look forward to achieving as I feel I have achieved in all of my life and now I feel equipped with the skills, knowledge and fitness to achieve them. Life can only get better.

Why should I feel old?